wifey material

i thought i am happy with my life now . 
yes i am until today,
 he got all the bullet point. yes he is right may be always right.
 but in the end of the day it just me. 
i m not good wifey material.
 i give all the best i can. but never great enough i guess.   sooner or later he might be bored or sick with my attitude. 
yeah he will eventually. he already does. 
i cant change much i tend to forgot. 
sometimes i just spoke without think n later i regret. 
ya, i clumsy like dat. i cut my hand, i tear my leg, i burn my arm. thats me. 
i ll never change. 
but a long the way marriage life made me realize i m repeating other mistake that i swear last time i will not ever do. 

 i guess it just the life cycle. same as butterfly. from caterpillar ( ugly ) at first later become beautiful butterfly. but i still can't see the beauty part of it. hope that in the end will be great. but now i didn't for seen that. 

i lost everything now even my self & my freedom. when he say i didn't respect him. that tore my heart apart.  this is like my alarm bell.

 i can't think straight now. i am in between life n death.
 i do love him a lot. & he my world now. 
but they say we can't love people so much. it will hurt us.'
so i pay my price now. 
i m really broken.